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Yesterday, lying in bed, on the verge of falling asleep, I was suddenly struck with the strangest sense of not being here at all, not quite. I'd almost jumped up, turned on the computer (since this is the kind of weirdness that you can't actually bother real life people who'd have to answer the phone with) and posted something like, Tell me I'm real, tell me I'm more than just this shadow I think I am... I never wanted a touch, any touch, someone else's hands on my body so badly, just to tell me I exist outside my own mind.

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( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
queerbychoice
Jul. 9th, 2006 07:05 am (UTC)
You exist! Because I can't think of any other likely explanation for how your journal entries show up on my friends page. You don't seem at all like the sort of person whose existence I might conceivably hallucinate.
solitary_summer
Jul. 9th, 2006 10:52 am (UTC)
I knew keeping a livejournal would turn out to be useful at one point! :)
un_crayon_rouge
Jul. 9th, 2006 08:40 am (UTC)
The strangeness continues: I had a very seimilar experience. I was lying in bed and thinking about this and that, work, tv, friends, LJ, the usual, and suddenly I thought "what if I stopped thinking about that stuff? what if I just lay here and be me? would I exist at all? is there someone here if you take away all the circumstances?" My heart started to beat really fast and suddenly I felt very hot. It was scary.
solitary_summer
Jul. 9th, 2006 10:47 am (UTC)
Freaky telepathic connection?

It's almost impossible to recapture now in broad daylight, but it really was unsettling, and all the more strange because I've never really worried about that kind of thing before. Philosophy at school? Sure, the table is real, whether someone is there to look at it or no, how can it not be? D'uh. And suddenly I thought, do I exist at all in any way that matters? So much about me is words, words, words, and probably all the wrong and meaningless words... Not that a touch is necessarily more real objectively speaking, but I really wanted that then to ground me a little...
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )

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