?

Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

Jan. 19th, 2010

So tired. Dozed off on the couch for an hour yesterday evening, then stared blankly at the pages of a fantasy novel for a bit, and then even more blankly at the computer screen, before deciding to go to bed. Lying awake in the dark, vague thoughts about if it really was worth it, once the high from believing you're doing the right thing has worn off and you're left wondering where you're being hated behind friendslock now. Does anything ever change anything, or does it even matter? Turning the light back on & more blank staring at the pages of said fantasy novel, noticing all the clunky and awkward stuff I just read over years ago. Slept for almost ten hours, even through most of the hammering and drilling that is happening two floors down. Strange dreams in the morning. Work. Don't want to. Don't even want to move.

Comments

( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
merricatk
Jan. 19th, 2010 02:34 pm (UTC)
I'm very fond of you, behind friends lock, and right out in the open.
solitary_summer
Jan. 19th, 2010 06:05 pm (UTC)
I never meant you. :) That was about last week's Torchwood post—I knew I was very likely setting myself up for defriending there, so it didn't exactly come as a surprise, but while I still stand by everything I said there, and mostly still think it needed saying, at the same time I'm also feeling bad for having hurt people... I don't deal well with conflict, in case that wasn't blindingly obvious. *wry smile*
(Deleted comment)
solitary_summer
Jan. 19th, 2010 05:49 pm (UTC)
Sorry; I never meant you. I was feeling a bit off and also apparently rather melodramatic this morning. That post about TW fandom *did* get me defriended, which I mostly expected, but is still a bit... when you've had people on your friendslist for years and have fangirled the same shows and know bits about their lives, and you know you've hurt them, and in fact knew you would hurt them, but thought it needed saying anyway... *sigh* And again with the whiny and melodramatic. Really shutting up now.
(Deleted comment)
solitary_summer
Jan. 19th, 2010 06:06 pm (UTC)
I don't actually believe that either, but in this case I just might chose to.... :)
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )

Profile

schnecke
solitary_summer
solitary summer

Latest Month

January 2016
S M T W T F S
     12
3456789
10111213141516
17181920212223
24252627282930
31      

Tags

Powered by LiveJournal.com
Designed by Tiffany Chow