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God. Not that I have much hope of that, but I'm almost starting to wish that TW S4 will suck really bad, because I'll never get anything done if I compulsively embark on the next spree of extremely wordy meta writing come August. Why, damn it. Why?! Why do I even care? My brain should care about finding a new job, acquiring various computer skills, learning Russian, etc., but instead it stubbornly insists on wasting way, way, too many hours on two fictional people one of whom is dead anyway. The death, life & being human thing at least felt like respectable writing in comparison. This essentially shippy stuff? (Which, all right, it isn't this time, not really, not mainly, but still.) Not so much.


And while we're at it, why can't I at least write faster? And with less fumbling and endless editing? What would I even do without a computer that enables this style of writing? Did people think clearer when they still used type-writers? Were our brains more organised? And why am I so neurotically perfectionist? Gah. I can't even blame the ESL thing because I suspect it would be even worse in German.


Pretty much finished now, though, and as far as I can tell, above rant notwithstanding, I'm actually quite pleased with it. Well, parts of it, at least. Hard to tell, I'm just too close.


(And oops, there goes another hour of my life, no thanks to daylight saving time. Going to bed now.)

*sigh*

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solitary_summer
Mar. 27th, 2011 08:31 pm (UTC)
Apparently so! :)


I'll probably post it tomorrow... I need to sleep over the epilogue. (My meta has epilogues now, how pretentious is that?! *facepalm*)

The thing is... I may whine and moan and of course it's true, I *should* be doing something more productive, but it recently struck me that writing this still feels more *real* to me than the 8 hours I spend in the bookshop daily. Even if only ten people read it in the end and half of them hate it, these are words and thoughts that didn't exist in that shape and order before, and I made them happen. Ha.

Writing is really a fascinating process, I just wish I was better at it...

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