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Jun. 25th, 2011

I know I've been kind of absent lately, but sometimes words feel so pointless and inadequate. Or maybe it's I who feels pointless and inadequate, and on the whole am happier ignoring myself. Everyone around me is moving on with their lives, careers, family; G. has a job interview in Hamburg and my Russian teacher, as it turns out, will be moving to La Palma with her husband. Meanwhile, I'm stuck, I'm frozen, I've been struck for the last ten years, and probably will remain stuck, since I seem to be totally incapable of getting myself unstuck.

Spent most of yesterday's holiday going through another 90-100 pages of my Excel book. Exciting, isn't it.

I'm happiest when I go for long walks; maybe this is another method of avoiding myself? Sometimes I wonder.





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( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
solitary_summer
Jun. 26th, 2011 09:16 pm (UTC)
*hugs back*

The Excel doesn't make it better, trust me. I keep thinking that maybe it should, since it's at least acquiring a skill of sorts, but when I'm sitting there with the damn book struggling with Pivot tables that doesn't help at all.

I really hope Miracle Day will make me want to write again without constantly questioning every sentence and in the end deleting it.
un_crayon_rouge
Jun. 26th, 2011 08:03 am (UTC)
I thought about you during the Ausflug with my mom yesterday. I said "Veronika would really like it here, when she comes to Spain again we have to come here with her", and she told me how she goes to visit you in the shop every time she's in Vienna - I hope she's not too annoying... Anyway. That.
solitary_summer
Jun. 26th, 2011 09:24 pm (UTC)
The pictures are lovely, especially first one with the flowers! Sadly, the only pond I passed on my Ausflug today was fenced in & had a sign 'Schwimmen und Fischen verboten!'... :(

She's definitely not annoying, I just can't get used to not calling her 'Sie' - there's some sort of stupid block in my brain.
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