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Spring teases. Sun and light coat today, a week of snow showers and temperatures barely above freezing point to come. It's intensely frustrating.

And when has every other entry started to turn into a complaint about the weather?

Then again, these ups and downs really mess with my body, or at least that's what I think it is; I've never been overly weather sensitive, but I've been having persistent headaches for the last week, accompanied by nausea (still lingering a little) yesterday, and I'm beginning to get a little grumpy.

Went for a walk-with-camera today, but the weather was so changeable, cloudy-to-overcast more often than not, so that only a few pictures turned out even remotely decent. Doesn't much matter, though, I still enjoyed getting out, although it's a strange season. Not the pristine, cold cleanness of the winter sunlight, but not spring yet, no real green, no open buds, lingering patches of snow, muddy, sodden earth, dirt and trash that has been hidden under the snow again and again over months.

I should perhaps write more; want to, even. Problem is, I don't write fast, or fluently; any longer posts, no matter if it's about personal issues, a book, a movie, fanish topics, god forbid, politics, whatever, are compiled slowly, a half-sentence here, a fragmented thought there; I keep notepad open most of the time, or the update page, but it takes a while for things to come together enough for me to be satisfied with the result. Perhaps I would write faster if I kept my focus, but often there is a kind of mental block, and I keep switching over to other browser windows almost compulsively, and nothing gets done, ever. Again. Perhaps there are subjects my subconsciousness shys away from, perhaps I don't like to commit myself to the written word -- I don't know. Perhaps it's just laziness fighting perfectionism - read, re-read, spellcheck, re-read, re-spellcheck, post, edit, edit, edit, ad nauseam. Perhaps sometimes language frightens me, because it's so final and at the same time so inadequate, at least when I handle it... Pictures are easier. This is what I saw, this is how I saw it.


( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
Mar. 12th, 2006 12:29 am (UTC)
People can't be defined in words, anyway.
I'm so curious to see you.

Would it be too forward to ask you for pictures of yourself?
Mar. 12th, 2006 12:52 am (UTC)
Re: People can't be defined in words, anyway.
Of course not...

This is about a year old, but I haven't changed much since, this is from last summer and this is from around New Year...

I'm not sure how much of an impression they give, seeing as I'm blurry on no. 1, tipsy and half out of the picture on no.2 and sweaty and wearing stupid glasses on no.3, but they're all I've got at the moment.... :)
Mar. 12th, 2006 01:11 am (UTC)
Re: People can't be defined in words, anyway.
They give a wonderful impression, you're lovely.

I think part of why you are hesitant to describe yourself in any way, is because words are always inadequate to describe people. It's like what I was telling my mother the other day, when I said:

"Whenever I say I don't like X, Y, and Z, or like X,Y, and Z, someone comes along to prove me wrong."

Because qualities, negative or positive, are just foundations for a personality, that can turn out in a multitude of ways.

I sound like I know stuff, I don't, I just convince myself of certain things. ha

Mar. 12th, 2006 10:05 am (UTC)
Re: People can't be defined in words, anyway.
I think you're right... If I make a statement, any statement, about myself, I almost immediately feel it needs a qualification of some sort, or at least has to be seen in context with all the other things I say... It does make writing anything rather complicated.

And... thank you. ;)

( 4 comments — Leave a comment )


solitary summer

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