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Another day spent wasting time not doing much of anything worthwhile, after I was thwarted in my attempt to take sunrise photos, for which I especially got up at some un-Sunday-ly hour, by a persistent fog. ::sigh::

Downloaded gizmo and am now not only IMable, but also (although that took me a while to figure out) able to make voice posts, so that you all could (theoretically) hear my funny voice, stuttering English and German accent. Hm... We'll see.

[This isn't a sponsored feature, right? I can keep this, right?! Not that I suppose I'm going to use it all that often, or (probably) at all, but I am quite easily corruptible with shiny new features, after all.]

Speaking of corruption, met with Rikki, had tea (I could kill for coffee sometimes. Or a glass of wine...), talked, and saw The Devil Wears Prada, because she likes Meryl Streep, but it left us both very dissatisfied. IMO the whole movie was predictably moralistic, but at the same time rather wishy-washy, over-careful not to be too harsh and offend anyone in the fashion industry, and dear god, by what insane standards could Anne Hathaway ever be called fat? Or anything less than beautiful? None of the characters roused any sympathy, and the only emotion the movie evoked, beside a general sense of faintly disgusted blahishness was vague annoyance. For this girl, who wouldn't even consider a job that would oblige her to wear high heels and just cannot understand that anyone would squee over a handbag, that world was just very, very foreign.

I've been (am) thinking about some things, why my life is how it is, always solitary, among other things, this kind of vaguely depressing thoughts, but am hesitant (or, more likely, afraid) to post any conclusions, or even to form them in my own mind. I feel stuck and paralysed in so many ways, unable to move forward. In fact, I feel like I've been retreating/deteriorating since spring.

Perhaps if I forced myself to write more regularly, it'd become easier again...


solitary summer

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January 2016


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