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Jan. 21st, 2008

This? Is me being my usual lazy, disorganised self.

Because I'm really, really not much of an writer; I'd like to blame it on a lack of fluency in English, but I know I'd be even worse in German. Frankly it amazes me that I've managed to stick around on livejournal for (and where did that time go?) almost five years already; I've never managed to keep a paperjounal with any kind of regularity for anything close to that amount of time before I got tired of it. Even so, what I do most of the time is open the update page, start writing about one thing or the other--

(Parenthesis: I don't write particularly fluently either; a sentence here, half a sentence there, never mind about style & grammar for the moment, skip forward a bit because there's this other idea that I don't want to forget, back again, because there's something that needed to be added, and in the end, when I've got all the ideas at least roughly sketched out, they're basically a mess that I have to force into coherent sentences, paragraphs, a sequence that actually makes sense, edit, often think of something else to add in the process, spell-check, and read over several times more till I'm mostly satisfied.)

-- and then halfway through the process get bored, get tired, lose motivation, lose enthusiasm for the subject, find something shiny to distract me and just copy the whole thing to one of those yellow post-its, close the window and forget about it. Um. When I bought the new computer one and a half years ago I went through an endless number of them, deleted or copied what ideas seemed worth saving to a text-document that of course I haven't looked at since. Thank god I didn't know that I could in fact have transferred them. And they're already accumulating again, personal thoughts, book reviews, tv reviews, Smallville, Doctor Who, Hornblower, etc., and so on.

All of which is of interest to precisely no one, but maybe if I make a very public resolution to go through and either post or delete them I'll actually do it? *sigh*

[Better come to an end, because we're definitely getting to *yawn*, what's that in the other browser window stage of things...]

So it's probably not really surprising that it was sometime past 2 am when I hit the 'save entry' button last night, after which I couldn't fall asleep for a while and woke up proportionally tired when the alarm rang about five hours later because I had a date for breakfast & movie with some people from work. We saw Les Temps Qui Changent, which was mostly okay-ish, if not exactly compelling. It does this French movie thing where almost nothing changes or is resolved throughout the movie (which no doubt is truer to life, but doesn't really appeal to me very much when it comes to movies and books), except they gave it a sort-of kind-of comparatively happy ending which I could have done without, because I found Depardieu's character's behaviour equally sad and creepy and don't really believe it should pay off in the end. And half-way through I got a little nauseous (Coffee for breakfast? Still not a good idea.), a lot tired, lost the concentration to even try to follow the French dialogue and mostly stuck to the subtitles.

Rest of the day was uneventful except that there seems to be something wrong with my bike again and emails I wanted to write were not written again, which brings us full circle, and I think I'm going to bed now.


( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
Jan. 21st, 2008 12:58 am (UTC)
I have never gotten used to the Stickies application, though the idea intrigues me. Do you find it useful?
Jan. 21st, 2008 07:02 pm (UTC)
Very. If I'm going to write (e.g.) a review (if my collections of rambling thoughts pass as such) for something and already know that it's going to be longer, I open TextEdit, but for just jotting down something that crosses my mind while I'm online, for saving half-written lj-entries that I'm too lazy to finish at the moment, that kind of thing, it's perfect...
Jan. 21st, 2008 07:06 pm (UTC)
I'm cleaning out my blog, and I've been using Stickies to store quotes and entries I don't yet have a home for. It's quite handy.
Jan. 21st, 2008 09:22 am (UTC)
Not much of a writer? That sounds exactly like me writing! (Which is only comforting if we agree to consider me a bit of a writer, of course.)

And, blimey, I thought I was a multitasker... the mere sight of the picture scared the shit out of my brain cells. :P
Jan. 21st, 2008 07:08 pm (UTC)
Actually that is comforting - I always thought people more or less started at the beginning and worked their way through to the end, rather than start somewhere in the middle and jump back & forth & all over the place erratically...

And it's not so scary - after all, no one *forces* me to do something with it, it only gives me a slight jolt of bad conscience for never finishing things I start. :)

Edited at 2008-01-21 07:08 pm (UTC)
Jan. 21st, 2008 01:04 pm (UTC)
I'm with you on not being much of a writer... I enjoy hanging out here at LJ for some reason but that sure isn't because I love to write!

I don't think I've seen that movie but just yesterday I watched another French one, and once again it made me wonder if they ever make movies where one (or all) of the chraracters isn't a bit of a lunatic... then again, maybe that's truer to real life as well :)
Jan. 21st, 2008 07:15 pm (UTC)
I really would like to be able to write well - be profound, moving, amusing, witty, all that. But it just isn't meant to be, apparently. :)

And French movies and I, we just don't click very well. (Part of me still blames my French teacher at school... who I didn't click very well with, either, to say the least.)
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )


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