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::sigh:: Yesterday I had a notice in my post-box for some package to fetch from the post-office, and since as far as I'd remembered I hadn't ordered anything I was kind of confused bordering on the intrigued... Anonymous admirer? Mysterious surprise gift? And it turned out to be large. And from some art gallery in Berlin, and I was even more confused, and more intrigued, until I opened it, and it turned out to be the picture G. told me about having bought on ebay a while ago, which for some reason had been sent to my address. Either I fucked up the last time I payed a purchase for him with my paypal account (although I can't see how), or (in view of our recent situation) this is some weird ploy of staying in contact, or getting to visit me on the pretence of fetching his package. Which means I have to drag the damn thing to work tomorrow so that he can fetch it from there.

So I had to tell him that, in the same e-mail I told him I wasn't, am not, and wouldn't be interested, after he ignored every single thing I said in three emails, sent me one e-mail to say he was hurt, another asking me (no sorry, no nothing) to proof-read his latest manuscript after I'd just explicitly told him that what what ruined our friendship for me back then was how he totally discarded me as a person but thought I was still useful enough to correct his manuscripts, and after I wrote another still too long and too emotionally involved e-mail sent me a one-line reply 'Ich mag dich!!' (I like you!!). I give up. I tried to talk to him, but apparently it's impossible, and I don't know what else to do anymore.

I'm not proud of myself, but apparently it needed to be done. (Anonymously commenting luker? Still out there? Happy now?)

Again with the ::sigh::.



solitary summer

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January 2016


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