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Mar. 14th, 2009

Very dead from stress. Also nauseous, headachy and slightly nerve-break-down-y. Maybe more than just slightly, today. Found an apartment (nothing signed yet, but barring hitherto unforeseeable complications & catastrophies it's mine), in a bit of a rush, because the job situation suddenly (or more precisely, predictably, but I kept hoping that I'd have a bit more time...) started looking increasingly iffy this week, and I want the contract signed and everything, so that I can focus on finding a new job, which of course triggers an entire new round of panic. Needs a bit of fixing, doesn't have much of a view, much less a yard with trees and snowdrops and crocuses and whatnot (*siiiiigh*), but it's larger, with a separate small bedroom, it's quiet, I can keep my internet provider, the house is nice, it's pretty central, and I'm moving back into the fourth district, which makes me feel a bit childhood nostalgic, so it'll be fine. I hope. Part of me is of course entirely panicky about having made the wrong choice, which is stupid, because it's not as if I'm buying it.

*sips camomile tea to calm stomach*

Also, there's now married (but more upfront about it, with pictures of wife & kids in his account) flickr guy no. 2 sending me messages that he's thinking about me. A lot. A bit déjà vu, that.

So, dear friendslist, who is less naive and completely clueless than me - 1) how should I take that, and 2) how do I respond? Gah.



( 16 comments — Leave a comment )
Mar. 15th, 2009 03:41 am (UTC)
You may tell him maybe he is extending his liking for your photos to the person who made them.
Mar. 15th, 2009 10:08 am (UTC)
But am I even right to assume that? Am I paranoid or do I have too big an ego interpreting that into a 'thanks for the fave, I'm thinking about you a lot' message, and the fact that he wants to meet me again? I wish these things weren't so difficult, and the whole thing with flickr guy no.1 made me even more unsure about my assumptions...
Mar. 15th, 2009 02:41 pm (UTC)
Then something like "Really? Any particular reason why you are thinking about me, or were you just saying?"

I don't think you're paranoid, we all make one or two wild assumptions when in ambiguous situations. It doesn't matter what one thinks, it matters what one does.
Mar. 15th, 2009 02:52 pm (UTC)
That's a good idea. Thanks a lot. :)
Mar. 15th, 2009 09:01 am (UTC)
Congratulate him on his children and go on about their prospects and their talents. And whatever you do, DON'T get involved with a married man. Either he will not leave his wife and you will end up discarded, or he will, and you will be in the situation of a home-breaker, plus an increased risk of bing deserted in turn - the proportion of second marriages (or unmarried relationships) ending in a break-up is much greater than that of first marriages.
Mar. 15th, 2009 09:37 am (UTC)
I don't intend to; if I had any plans on that front, it'd have been flickr guy no. 1. Mostly I'm wondering how I should interpret his 'I'm thinking about you' without assuming intentions that he maybe doesn't even have, or, on the other hand, not assuming anything, which might be wrong, too, and how to tell him I'm not interesested (in case I'm right about my assumptions) in a way that isn't offensively direct (in case I'm not).
Mar. 15th, 2009 10:02 am (UTC)
That is why I suggested you focus on his children. They are nicely neutral, do nothing to suggest an interest in him personally, and in general any parent can talk about his/her kids for hours. And you can easily direct the discussion so as to register a clear statement of no general interest without being personal or offensive.
Mar. 15th, 2009 10:08 am (UTC)
Thanks, I'll try to do that.
Mar. 15th, 2009 02:59 pm (UTC)
Dead from stress... same here. I'm glad you found an apartment, and even though it might not be as "nice," I'd go for quiet any day. I've been sleeping so badly since we came back to Ohio from Maryland. I sleep so well in the house I grew up in; out here, though -- not so much.

As far as Flickr Guy No. 2 is concerned, I'd either:

a) Ignore him. (Or is he part of the Flickr group you meet with from time to time? [I wasn't sure from the context if he's someone you know in person, or only on Flickr.] In which case ignoring him might be hard to do without giving up your photowalk outings, which you shouldn't do, as you enjoy them.)

b) Be very blunt and simply tell him that you're not interested sort of personal relationship with him. Usually, IMHO, directness is the best policy.
Mar. 15th, 2009 10:03 pm (UTC)
Yes, quiet is important. I haven't been sleeping well lately, either; I just can't get used to the braces I have to wear at night. I can only sleep on my back with them, and as exhausted as I was yesterday, I was up after six hours or so.

Flickr guy... He's part of the group, and I met him once for a brief photowalk in the Prater. The problem is, I'm not even sure what, if anything, he wants, because maybe I'm overinterpreting, and I don't want to be rude, but you're right, and generally I wish people were just more direct; it'd make things easier...
Mar. 15th, 2009 11:53 pm (UTC)
When I was having my orthodontic work done -- oh, so many years ago -- I had to wear a retainer for my bottom teeth. It fit somehow under my tongue and around the back of my teeth, with the usual wire around the front, of course, and some wires to the side that fit on/around my molars. I hated the damned thing. I was supposed to wear it 24/7, but I couldn't eat with it because I felt as if I would choke any time I tried to swallow food with it in my mouth, and I couldn't sleep with it on because, again, I felt like I was going to choke. Needless to say, I wasn't very conscientious about using it, so I was lucky if I had it in half the time. My top teeth have remained in good shape since my orthodontic work, but my bottom teeth more-or-less went back to the way they were before. :/
Mar. 16th, 2009 09:57 pm (UTC)
I've a thin wire glued to the inside of the 6 front teeth, both on the upper and the lower jaw, which is more or less okay. The braces for the upper jaw I only have to wear at night, but that's annoying enough, and I suspect at least part of the reason for the headache I've had on and off for the last ten days...
Mar. 15th, 2009 10:18 pm (UTC)
Congratulations on the apartment! From recent experience I can assure you that the *prospect* of moving and everything that goes with it is more harrying than the actual thing, which is, even, kind of fun. And about flickr guy, I think you already had a couple of good suggestions. You're definitely not paranoid "I'm thinking a lot about you" is indicative of something more than artistic or even friendly appreciation.
Mar. 16th, 2009 10:04 pm (UTC)
Thank you! :) I'll post pictures, as soon as I've got the keys!

And do I have some kind of invisible sign stuck to my forehead that *attracts* these guys? Gah.
Mar. 15th, 2009 10:51 pm (UTC)
Congrats on the new flat!

1) The thought gives me the willies.

2) I would ignore the messages.
Mar. 16th, 2009 10:42 pm (UTC)
Thank you!

He's a nice enough guy, so I'm not freaked out as such, I just... I'm probably way too old-fashioned, but I guess I'd like to be able to assume that someone who's married with children isn't coming on to you, and I'm starting to wonder why I seem to be attracting these guys. I've ignored it so far, mostly because I've been so stressed about the apartment and the work situation, and I guess two days is too long to think about a reply to a one and a half lines message, so ignored it is. :)
( 16 comments — Leave a comment )


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