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Well that was fun. Not. A couple of weeks ago I completely lost my nerves half-way through dental cleaning. Panicked, hyperventilated, and couldn't calm down at all, whatever they tried, so the consensus was I should get a prescription for some light sedative, and we'd try again then. So I took the prescribed 20 drops before I went there today, and did indeed feel calmer. Until she started on my teeth, at which I completely lost it again and almost ran out. Tried to calm down again, and thought it might be a good idea to take another 20 drops. Er. Let's just say the rest of the morning was passed both wobbly and in a bit of a haze, and the scariest thing was that I completely lost my sense of time. At one point I looked at my watch, and, oops, when did it become 12 o' clock?


I'm probably the only person ever to walk out of a dental cleaning with a psychotherapist's card.

I'm just too distracted and scatterbrained to really update at the moment. I've (vague) second (& third) thoughts about Watchmen and mixed thoughts and feelings about Dollhouse, but I don't have the patience or focus to actually sit down and write. I signed the lease for the new flat last Friday, but haven't got a key yet because it still needs to be painted after a pipe burst in the flat above, and It's making me nervous because I've already planned the move for the 18th and was hoping to get most of the small stuff, books, DVDs, etc. over before that.

Asked H. (flickr guy no.1) if he wants my olive tree, since I can't take it along (no yard to speak of) and didn't want to just leave it behind at the mercy of whoever is taking care of the garden at the moment and might decide to throw it out the moment I'm gone, and he's got an an apartment with a terrace and already a couple of other olive trees. Maybe I'm too sentimental, in all kinds of ways.

I'm also kind of pissed at the weather, because after teasing us with sunshine and almost 20 degrees on Saturday when of course I had to work, it was raining non-stop yesterday and it's back to 6 degrees and an icy wind today. It's almost April, damn it. March was cold, rainy and generally horrible from start to finish.

On a completely different note, I've been reluctantly dragged into facebook by the Vienna flickr people. I don't actually like it much, because it's so... superficial in a way, if you're used to livejournal, but I do use it occasionally, so if someone wants to friend me there and doesn't know my full name, drop me a note...


( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
Mar. 30th, 2009 07:50 pm (UTC)
Contrary to what you tell yourself, there is nothing uncommon about people becoming so convulsed with nervous fear of the dentist that they need chemical help. The finest person I ever met, Debbie Wallace, was a woman with the moral courage of a martyr and such honesty that her friends gave her their own savings for safekeeping. Nonetheless, this woman, whose courage would easily have been up to talking back to Hitler or Khomeini, was so helpless with terror at the thought of the chair and the drill that she had to be sent to a special dental studio across the city, that catered for such people. There patients would routinely be dosed with tranquillizers before being admitted to the waiting room, and Debbie gave me a hilarious and no doubt overdrawn account of them all sitting there with vacant eyes and drooling.

Believe me, if a woman of such heroic courage and moral stature - and I exaggerate nothing about her - could be practically helpless with terror before the dentist, you have nothing to be ashamed of. You can only be proud of the comparison.
Mar. 30th, 2009 08:20 pm (UTC)
Thank you. :) I'm nowhere that heroic, but I'm glad to hear it happens to other people to. Not glad that it happens to them, obviously, but I was horribly embarrassed and thought I was a complete freak and/or wimp and kept apologising to everyone. The dentist himself isn't that bad (or at least wasn't, until now; there's some work to be done we've put off until after the braces come off, so I guess I'll see), because I always ask for local anaesthesia, but the orthodontist appointments were a pssychological ordeal more often than not.
Mar. 30th, 2009 07:58 pm (UTC)
I had an attack at the dentist's before
It was during an appointment to fill a couple of small cavities. Turns out that it was the adrenaline levels in the freezing.

It was not a good scene at all.
Mar. 30th, 2009 08:23 pm (UTC)
Re: I had an attack at the dentist's before
It's reassuring to hear I'm not the only one; I felt like a complete freak...
Mar. 31st, 2009 12:44 am (UTC)
As a child, I was never afraid of going to the dentist (probably because I've -- so far -- never had any cavities or major dental problems), but it's been years since I've been to the dentist (no dental insurance, can't afford it), so I'm sort of panicky about my next trip to a dentist. I'll soon have dental insurance again through my job, and I know I need to make an appointment. I don't *think* I have anything to worry about, but having not been in several years, one never knows...

I go through phases with LiveJournal and Facebook. Generally, I prefer LiveJournal (which is more personal, I think), and Facebook tends to be very public (and consequently, what one presents there tends to be, as you said, superficial). I was using Facebook a lot a couple of months ago, but now I find myself needing to turn to LiveJournal for "comfort." But if you want to add me, feel free. Or send me your name in a private message. I tend not to like to post full names in posts themselves.
Mar. 31st, 2009 09:06 pm (UTC)
That's the kind of thing that profoundly frightens me about the USA. That even people who have jobs can't afford to go to the dentist. Mind-boggling. Don't worry too much, though, if you aren't in pain - I hadn't been for years, before I went (with some trepidation) to my sister's dentist, because I had a bit of a tooth ache, but it was only a problem with an old filling, nothing major.

I'll send you a PM.
Apr. 2nd, 2009 12:08 am (UTC)
There are lots of things that are profoundly frightening about the USA, but, yes, healthcare (and the lack of affordable healthcare) is close to the top of the list for me. So many Americans look at healthcare as a privilege, not as a right, and I find that attitude towards social welfare just wrong wrong wrong. It doesn't help that I live in one of the most Republican counties in one of the most Republican of states, where everybody -- even the poorest of the poor -- vote for conservative politicians (because the conservative politicians pander to the ultra-religious "values voters"), in spite of the fact that conservative politicians are the very last ones to have the best interests of the poor at heart. I swear, it just makes me want to bang my head on a brick wall.

Just today, I received an email (of the annoying, forwarded variety) from my mother's brother (who has become increasingly xenophobic as he's gotten older). It reads:


In honor of the 44th President of the United States, Baskin-Robbins Ice Cream has issued a new flavor, "Barocky Road".

Barocky Road is a blend of half Vanilla, half Chocolate, and surrounded by Nuts and Flakes.

The Vanilla portion of the mix is not openly advertised, and usually denied as an ingredient.

The Nuts and Flakes are all very bitter and hard to swallow.

The cost is $100.00 per scoop.

When purchased, it will be presented to you in a large beautiful cone, but then the Ice Cream is taken away and given to the person in line behind you.

Thus, you are left with an empty wallet, no change, holding an empty cone, with no hope of getting any Ice Cream.

Aren't you feeling stimulated?

I don't think it takes much of an imagination for you to guess for whom he voted...
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )


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